Kettle Logic

Freud told a story about a man accused of returning a borrowed kettle with a hole in it. His defence had three parts: he had returned it undamaged, it was already damaged when he borrowed it, and he had never borrowed a kettle in his life. Each answer is reasonable. Together they prove he did it.

Owners do this constantly, mostly to themselves, and it is the single most reliable way to lose a year without ever making a decision. The tell is not that any reason is false — every one is usually true in isolation. The tell is quantity, and the fact that the reasons quietly contradict each other once you line them up.

What is kettle logic?

The number of reasons somebody gives is usually in inverse proportion to the strength of their case. One reason means there is a reason. Five means there is something underneath that has not been said, and the five are standing in front of it.

Picture the decision as a heavy beam resting on five props. Four of them do not quite reach; only one is carrying any weight. Argue the four down one at a time and the beam does not move, because they were never holding it up. The work is finding the one that is.

Where it turns up in a business

• In you, most often. The price rise you have not done, the person you have not managed out, the product you have not killed. Ask yourself why and you will produce a tidy list, and the list is why it has been fourteen months.
• In your team, when a deadline slips. The brief was late, the client changed their mind, the software was down, and somebody was off. Any one of those would be a cause you could fix. All four together are a fog.
• In a prospect, when the objection has three parts. Price, timing and needing to speak to the board arriving in one sentence is not three objections. It is one unspoken one.
• In your own marketing. A proposal listing nine reasons to buy reads as anxiety. Buyers can feel the difference between a business that knows its one reason and one that is hoping something lands.

Why it costs real money

Because kettle reasons are unkillable. Clear the diary and “no time” is replaced by “the team is not ready”. Fix that and it becomes “let us see how the quarter lands”. You can spend a year demolishing obstacles that were never holding anything up, and the decision will be exactly where you left it.

It is also the most expensive form of delay, because it does not feel like delay. It feels like diligence. Nobody notices that they have decided nothing, because every month there was a defensible reason not to.

When several reasons are genuine

Be careful with this, because sometimes a thing really does have three dependencies. A new site needs a lease, a manager and a bank facility, and all three have to land. That is not kettle logic, that is a plan.

Two tests separate them. First, do the reasons hold still? Genuine dependencies are the same in January and in July. Kettle reasons rotate, and the new one always arrives about a week after you solve the old one. Second, do they pull against each other? “We are too busy to take this on” and “we need more work in the pipeline first” cannot both be the obstacle, and when an owner offers both in the same conversation, neither is.

Real dependencies also come with dates and owners attached, because somebody has thought about them. Kettle reasons never do. If you ask when the website will be finished and nobody knows, the website was never why.

How to use it this week

Write down every reason, then read them together

On paper, not in your head. Reasons that sound solid one at a time look very different stacked up in a list of five.

Ask the removal question

“If this obstacle vanished tomorrow, would I do it?” If the answer is no, that reason is not load-bearing. Keep going until you find the one where the answer is yes.

Insist on one reason from your team

Not “what happened”, which invites the list. Ask: of all of that, which one thing, if it had gone differently, would have saved it? That question is answerable and it produces something you can fix.

Use it in the sales conversation

When an objection arrives in three parts, do not answer any of them. Ask: if we sorted the price, would you be signing this week? The answer tells you which conversation you are actually in.

Count the reasons in your own proposals

Cut to the one that matters most to that buyer. A single reason, stated plainly, outsells nine.

Put a number on the one real reason

Fear is usually specific and usually smaller than it feels. If the real reason for not raising prices is that two clients might leave, work out what those two clients actually contribute in gross profit, and set it against what the rise is worth across the whole customer book. You may still choose not to do it — but you will be choosing, which takes an afternoon rather than fourteen months.

The mistakes to avoid

The first is arguing with the reasons. Somebody gives you five, and being commercially minded you take them in order and demolish each one. It never works, and worse, it teaches the other person that reasons are how you handle them — so next time you get seven. You cannot win an argument against props that are not holding anything up.

The second is not applying it to yourself. Owners are quick to spot kettle logic in a supplier or an employee and remarkably slow to notice their own, because their own reasons come with a full sense of the context. That sense of context is precisely what makes the fog convincing.

Questions to ask yourself

• What have you been about to do for more than six months? Write down every reason, then decide which one is genuinely carrying the weight.
• Out of 10, how honest are you being with yourself about why that decision has not been made?
• If every obstacle you have listed disappeared this evening, would you actually do it tomorrow?
• Who in your business gives you a list every time something goes wrong, and what have you been doing with the list?

Where this fits in coaching

This is a working tool for owner freedom and faster decisions. It is worked through in Personal Coaching, and it sits alongside two related mindsets: The Knowledge Pie and How Customers Buy.